|Photos taken by Yan Palmer|
These photos were taken long before I started my blog and while clearing out my computer last week I realized I had never shared them here. As I sorted through the folder my heart began to ache, in only the way seeing your baby so small, bald, and squishy can do. Lucas was 10 months old in these photos, still nursing, two teeth down, and just barely attempting to make his first steps. We had just moved in to our tiny apartment and had barely decorated. We were planning a first birthday, sorting through boxes, juggling work and family life, and adjusting to our new, very small space. I can't believe almost 2 years have passed. I wish I could back in time and re-live some of these moments. I wish I could tell myself not to be so hard on myself at times. To stop wishing for a bigger apartment, a fancier kitchen, or hardwood floors. Because when I really stop to think and reflect, none of that matters. All I see when I look at our faces in these photos is love. A young couple who beat the odds and brought a miracle into this world. In the last few months I have been experiencing the same kind of time-consuming mind set - I need. I want. Looking at these images were a much needed gentle reminder that all I need is us. I am still looking forward to moving, decorating, and all the fun projects that I really do love. But it will be done with what we can afford, Ivan's input will be heard (I hope you are reading this honey ;), and most importantly our new home will continue to be filled with joy and love.